You heard it all senior year from teachers, older siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins:

“College will be the best four years of your life.”

It’ll be one of the last things your parents whisper in your ear before they leave you sitting on your dorm bed alone feeling a mixture of thrill and anxiety. While you know it’s a reference to exploring new things, finding your life’s passion and blossoming into the independent adult the world wants you to be, a part of you twists against the double meaning behind “best four years.”

There are still rules in college; there will always be rules, but the lines are blurrier. No “11 pm curfew,” no “You can’t sleep with someone in your room.” Your bed can now be a communal place, shared with whomever you so desire at any odd hour of the night and your parents will never know, because your parents are going back home.

Some of you have dreams of losing your virginity while others have bets with your buddies of whose game will be the best. Some of you desire to fall madly in love with a boy or girl who lives across the hall while others have goals of getting seniors to notice them. For the most part, you will think that your friends are hooking up with more people than you, and you will all be quick to exaggerate your sexual adventures when the chance presents itself.

But here is the secret; your college sex life is just that. It is yours.

For some of you, it will be a sprint. Full charge ahead, you will bonk around in different beds with no caution. The majority of your friends will probably hook up with at least one person in the first few months of school and it will probably lead to nothing. Experimenting and “having fun” is nothing to be ashamed of. How are you supposed to know what you like if you haven’t tried anything?

On the other hand, some of you will prefer to explore the college sex life at a jog. Hooking up should not be your sole thought going into your freshman year and for those of you who are focused on formulating friendships and making the most of your classes, I applaud you. Eventually, we all want to be in a place where we can enjoy both a 4.0 and a flourishing sex life, but if you need to put one on the back burner for a bit, I recommend it be the sex.

If you see yourself as a jogger, I implore you not to compare yourself to your friends who are gushing over their multiple make-outs in one night. It’s OK to take your time and find someone you care about before deciding to share your twin XL bed. “Quality not quantity” is usually correct. And some of you will not be ready to enter the race at all. If you don’t feel ready to have sex, don’t cave just because “everyone is doing it.” Believe it or not, a lot of people aren’t “doing it.” Like all things in life, with great privilege comes great responsibility and whom you bring to bed is no exception. Always ask for consent, wear those condoms and get ready for “the best four years of your life.”

Alex Archambault is a sophomore newspaper and online journalism major. You can email her at ararcham@syr.edu or follow her @Alex_And_Raa on Twitter.

Published on August 25, 2015 at 8:52 pm