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Humor

Hohenwarter: Freshman roommates have same pair of Sperry Topsiders

For freshmen Noah Geffen and James Avery, the college experience thus far has been one of shock, adjustment and acceptance.

Geffen, 18, arrived mid-day Saturday afternoon to move into Day Hall to find his new roommate James Avery, also 18, already unpacked.

“We were in touch a lot the last part of the summer, ya know? Coordinating who’s bringing what, talking about the Knicks, who knows who, and generally just getting each other fired up for an epic year,” Avery said. “So when he pulled them out of his backpack I was really thrown through a huge loop.”

Yes, when the introductory daps and backslaps had simmered and the “bros” and name-drops were but mere echoes through the halls, fate dealt the foundation of their fledgling bromance an unmerciful blow.



“So basically I’m just getting my stuff unpacked, checkin’ out the view, really just starting to get my bearings down,” Geffen said. “Surveying the room thinking about all the stuff we need to get done, where I’m gonna put my ‘Lethal Weapon’ poster, whether I could fit a keg in my closet to throw some epic ragers in here, day one type stuff. But when I saw Avery’s face frozen, eyes locked on my new Sperry’s, I knew right then what was up. I lost my best friend in middle school over having the same Polo sneakers, so I knew the severity of the situation. We had a long road ahead of us.”

But while weaker men may have went running for housing reassignment forms, Geffen and Avery have found the inner strength to persevere.

“So basically at first we had a rotating schedule: Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays sort of thing. And that worked out well during orientation week, but then one day Noah got confused and met me in the dining hall wearing them on my day, both of us sporting that light brown leather with pastel red accents.

“An unmistakably sick look,” Geffen added. “But right then the cat was out of the bag and we had to deal with the ‘You look like twins’ and the ‘Are your dads partners at the same law firm?’ It was a really tough afternoon.”

Against a tide of scoffs and off-handed comments, the pair has found a way to grow from the experience.

“Naturally we were pretty heated when we got back to the room that day and thought of a ton of sick comebacks for anything anyone might say to us. And really we came to the conclusion that we could use it to our advantage,” Geffen said.

“Yeah Noah’s Sperry’s are in pristine condition, still have that glossy shine. Whereas I’ve been making a point to spill drinks on mine every time we go out. We think it’ll be perfect come rush next semester,” Avery said. “I’m going for the wildcard role during rush, like butt tattoo, packs a lip at church during Easter service vibe. Whereas Geffen can be the well-groomed kid who will eventually be finance, maybe even philanthropy chair. It really all worked out for the best.”

And as for their matching pairs of Timberland boots? These two have decided that battle can wait until the first snowfall.

Evan Hohenwarter is a senior advertising major who is almost as modest as he is handsome. He can be reached at emhohenw@syr.edu or on Twitter at
@evanhohmbre





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