Every morning, we spend a huge amount of time primping and prepping, making sure our hair looks good and our outfit matches. And yet, there’s one feature that is largely overlooked and gives far greater insight into the psyche of your peers than any jacket or pair of shoes ever could: snacks.

Yes, your midday munchies are being judged hard and, brought or bought, they provide fascinating insights into who you are as a person. Here are some of the most important takeaways you get from what someone is eating in class.

Pretzels

You have trouble trusting people, but once you find someone, they are a lifetime friend.

Peanuts/Cashews

You seize every opportunity, no matter how small.

Almonds

No one has told you yet how much water it takes to produce an almond.

Cereal in a Ziploc bag

You recently found out you’re lactose intolerant, but you also still have a lot of cereal you aren’t ready to let go to waste.

Multiple yogurts

Yeast infection.

Coffee

You have been thinking about making a big change in your life, but mostly you’re trying to avoid the embarrassment of falling asleep in class.

Tea

You took a yoga class or two so now you think you’re better than me.

Freshens Smoothie

You have recently come into a large sum of money and are passionate about blended fruits.

Chocolate-covered nuts

Your sweet tooth indicates a lack of confidence in a recent endeavor. Or, you probably just failed a test and are trying to treat yourself but don’t have time to go home in between classes.

Salad

“If a tree falls in the wood and no one is around to hear it, will people know that I’m a health-conscious eater?”

No snack

You were going to grab a bunch of yogurts out of the fridge on your way to class but forgot.

As I write this article in my lecture, I am sipping a coffee and eating Honey Nut Cheerios. I don’t think I’m lactose intolerant, but I did recently make the switch to almond milk. Maybe I’m more insightful than I ever even realized.

Evan  Hohenwarter  is a senior advertising major who is almost as modest as he is handsome. His column appears weekly in Pulp. He can be reached at emhohenw@syr.edu or on Twitter at @evanhohmbre.

Published on February 22, 2016 at 9:17 pm