Sarah Palin is the next Judge Judy. What a weird thing to say.

Over the past week or so, media outlets have reported that Palin has signed a deal with a production company out of Montana to host a nationally syndicated reality courtroom show.

A few questions popped into my head when I read the news. Does she even have a law degree? Are there any requirements at all to be a television judge? What will the show be called? How many moose heads will be hung on the wall of her courtroom?

Before I found out the answers to these questions, I had to make sure of something that should have been obvious. Courtroom reality TV is not connected to the U.S. judicial system. Instead, the so-called judges technically serve as arbitrators. That means the two parties agree to accept the decision of the judge. It also means the show sets the rules for the behavior in the courtroom.

While a real judge would have to adhere to infinite rules and procedures, people like Judge Judy and Judge Joe Brown can do whatever they want. They interrupt, berate and impose their personality into the courtroom/ studio. That job description sounds perfect for Sarah Palin.

Even though reality courtroom shows have no basis in law, the judges often have law degrees. Judge Judy used to sit on the bench for the Manhattan Family Court before hosting the most popular show of this genre. The People’s Court cycled through real judges every few years. Judge Joe Brown was a Tennessee State Criminal Court judge before finding success on TV.

However, since there is nothing saying the host has to be a real judge, there is no reason Palin cannot take the job. It does mean that the illusion of the show being a real courtroom will be gone, but Palin’s persona will make up for anything lost in the suspension of disbelief.

Another myth about these shows is that the punishments are real.  For one, the producers often decide the outcome before they shoot the show. This way, the narrative can be controlled and the writers of the show can feed the judge things to say.  Also, these shows take people’s petty cases and treat them like pitches for an episode. The people involved are compensated for their time, so even if they lose the case, they will often walk away with more money than they lost. Classic reality TV.

Let’s get into what Palin’s show will be like. As of now, she has only signed on to shoot a pilot, but its hard to imagine a daytime slot that would not see a ratings increase from a show as ridiculous as this one could be.

The courtroom set on these kinds of shows always looks plastic enough anyway, but a Palin one might redefine the genre. Imagine a log cabin filled with rugs and wooden rocking chairs around a fire. Fake snow blows outside the fake studio windows and Sarah Palin walks in through the door wearing a huge fur coat and sets her rifle down next to the mantle.

She hangs her coat up, looks at the camera and says, “Welcome to Punishment by Palin, I’m Sarah Palin.” And then she winks.

I cannot wait.

Kyle Stevens is a sophomore advertising major. His column appears weekly in Pulp. You can email him at ksteve03@syr.edu or reach him on Twitter at @kstevs_.

Published on April 3, 2016 at 9:13 pm