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Humor Column

What your freshman Halloween costume says about you

Lindy Truitt | Asst. Illustration Editor

Halloween comes every year with stress and worries about a costume, but our humor columnist relieves those worries with reviews of the most popular ones.

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Halloween in college marks a huge change in a young person’s life. Gone are the days of trick-or-treating with Mommy and Daddy. No more coming home before 10 p.m. and having two Almond Joys before hitting the hay. Most importantly, say goodbye to school-appropriate costumes that cover almost every inch of your skin.

Costumes in college are a big deal. They’re an opportunity to show off your creativity and, let’s face it, how hot you are. Your first Halloween in college is a monumental moment, and what costume you chose may be forever ingrained in your memory. Forget astrology — your freshman Halloween costume says way more about your personality than some stupid star sign.

1. Devil
If you dressed up as a devil your freshman year, I’m sorry, but you lack creativity. Before you’re like, “Boohoo, the Daily Orange humor columnist bullied me,” I’m allowed to say that, because I dressed up as a devil my freshman year and I know I lacked creativity at the time. The devil outfit tells people, “I had a red crop top and five bucks to spend at Spirit Halloween on some flimsy horns.”

2. Black cat
If you dressed up as a black cat, you are definitely a procrastinator. While everyone else was organizing complex group costumes, Halloween wasn’t even on your radar. You procrastinated so hard that you were forced to throw on some black pants and a black crop top that probably had a hole in the armpit. You were then forced to sheepishly ask the girls on your floor if they had any cat ears. You promised yourself that next year you’ll try harder, but between you and me, we know that isn’t true.



3. Space cowboys
If you and your friends dressed up as space cowboys, you were probably super close with your freshman year friends. A group costume is a commitment that can test every fiber of a new friendship. Once the words, “we should do a group costume” are uttered, there is no going back. Settling on a group costume idea requires a group chat filled with endless bickering and compromises. You might not be close with those people anymore, but hey, at least you have those group pictures to look back on. God, you looked good in those metallic biker shorts.

4. Mummy
If the only thing preventing you from being butt naked at the function is some gauze wrap from CVS, you have a lot of trust in the universe. The mummy costume shows that you are a do-it-yourself type and you have enough motor skills to properly wrap yourself up.

5. Niche character
Dressing as some sort of niche character from a show only a select few people know requires a certain amount of confidence. If you spent your Halloween night explaining to drunk people that you were Dr. House M.D. from hit American medical drama “House,” you deserve some sort of award for your bravery.

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