Syracuse is in the Elite Eight. Syracuse is in the Elite Eight. Syracuse is in the Elite Eight.

Typing those words still doesn’t feel real to me, and yet I was definitely at Chuck’s, and Tyler Lydon definitely made that block and Ross Geller middle-fingered the whole state of Washington.

But it still doesn’t make any sense. Here are a bunch of statements that sound just as preposterous right now:

• White people stop talking about “Hamilton.”
• Leonardo DiCaprio gets married.
• Haiti wins Rugby World Cup.
• Twitter officially named the World’s Kindest Social Media Platform.
• Boise, Idaho earns 2026 Olympic Bid.
• Free Safety Susan Sarandon earns 5-year deal with the New Orleans Saints.
• Ted Cruz admits having affairs with three of the four Teletubbies.
• Big Sean legally changes his name to “Little Tony.”
• Miley Cyrus legally changes her name to Hannah Montana.
• “Batman vs. Superman” nominated for 11 Academy Awards.
• France renounces wine and cheese as a cultural staple.
• Mike Tyson performs open-heart surgery on Evander Holyfield, leaves ear in tact.
• “When You Were Young” by the Killers named the national anthem of the United States.
• 2Pac to release post mortem reggae album.
• Quavo, Takeoff and Offset, or “Migos,” run 10 marathons in 10 days.
• Drake retires his own emotions.
• Lil’ Wayne and Birdman hold meeting to end their beef at Camp David.
• Bernie Sanders named CEO of the biggest bank in the world.
• Kanye West goes on Twitter rant about foreign policy.
• NCAA decides to pay the players.
• That album that people liked… turns out it’s not that good.
• Christian Bale to star in gritty reboot of “Thomas the Tank Engine.”
• Roger Goodell donates brain to science to prove he has CTE.
• Jennifer Garner magically transforms into 13-year-old girl.
• United States converts to the metric system.
• George Washington resurrected, supports Donald Trump.