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The consumption of cocaine has been synonymous with Hollywood – behind the scenes or directly in front of the camera – throughout the last 50 years. But on- or off-screen, it’s always been snorted by humans.

“Cocaine Bear” has the easiest job under this premise. It’s literally about a bear doing cocaine. But Elizabeth Banks’ third directorial project is a lazy combination of two very simple genres — the “animal gone wild” and drug-induced comedy. The film leaves audiences yearning for more substance from a film about a bear on substances.

The film itself is very loosely based on a true story about Andrew Thornton, a convicted drug smuggler who dumped bags of cocaine over a Georgia forest in September 1985 to lighten the load of his aircraft, only to die from a parachuting accident soon after. Three months later, a 175-pound black bear was found dead after an overdose on the drug. Banks’ film portrays an alternate end to that story in which the bear goes on a killing rampage upon ingesting the cocaine.

The entire plot for “Cocaine Bear” was explained perfectly in the trailer, showing a bear snorting a line of cocaine off a severed leg, the drug turning it into a combination of Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees. The trailer had a witty and fitting tagline “on a rampage for blow and blood,” immediately going viral after its release.

The first five minutes, which shows Thornton’s failed parachuting attempt before the bear kills its first victim, lives up to the trailer. But very quickly, Banks pivots away from what should be a very uncomplicated plotline, introducing the audience to a set of cliché, uninteresting characters.

Keri Russell plays the former in a mother-daughter duo. O’Shea Jackson Jr., Alden Ehrenreich and Ray Liotta portray drug dealers trying to recover the lost cocaine. Margo Martindale is a park ranger who can’t shoot a gun and Isiah Whitlock Jr. is a deadshot police officer.

Fifty minutes in, Banks adds two more people into the cacophony — a pair of ambulance drivers who venture into the bear’s grasp. These characters, played by Scott Seiss and Kahyun Kim, create the most entertaining sequence of the whole film alongside Martindale, a car chase where the bear wins.

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Each storyline could be an entire film on its own in completely different genres. Jackson Jr. and Ehrenreich are in a buddy action comedy while Russell is in a bootleg “Taken” film. Banks tries to connect all the storylines with family themes that make “Avatar: The Way of Water” or any “Fast & Furious” film look like “Citizen Kane.” The audience learns too many unnecessary facts about every character’s background through writing that would earn a seventh-grader a C- in English class.

Banks spends too much time or too little time on every storyline, randomly bringing back characters who had been off-screen for more than 30 minutes. The bear, which is displayed with worse CGI than 2010’s “Yogi Bear,” becomes less prevalent as the film goes along. A dog, owned by Whitlock Jr.’s character in the film, is on screen almost as much as the bear.

The viewer doesn’t sympathize with any of the characters, instead berated with the personal problems each character has. Banks even dedicated the film to its biggest star, Liotta, who already starred in the greatest cocaine movie of all-time, “Goodfellas,” and died early last year. Thankfully, he won’t be remembered for this role.

“Cocaine Bear” was released at the perfect time, taking advantage of a rather empty slot of films which comes around this time every year. Yes, the film is performing well at the box office, but it shouldn’t have been shown on the silver screen. “Sharknado” knew it was a TV movie. “Cocaine Bear,” which fits into the horror-comedy-animal-trash category, should’ve realized the same thing. It’s not good enough to deserve a theatrical release. It’s better suited for an afternoon slot on TNT.

During the film, Ehrenreich’s character yells “The bear, it loves coke!” That’s all this film should’ve been, a straightforward popcorn movie about a drugged animal that kills people.

Instead, “Cocaine Bear” focuses on overdone family dynamics, bounces around between genres and displays disappointing performances from an array of B-list actors. This is just another example of a great idea being oversaturated by an actor-turned-director and another trailer overselling a less-than-mediocre film.

Published on February 27, 2023 at 9:26 pm

Contact Anish: asvasude@syr.edu | @anish_vasu